Cultural and social norms often dictate how, when, and why, we celebrate life events. In North America we celebrate dozens of monumental life events. Who doesn’t love a good party, right? We celebrate birth, baptisms, meaningful birthdays, getting a drivers license, national margarita day, taco Tuesday, you name it, we have a celebration (and sometimes a national holiday) for it! Yet one of the few “endings” we celebrate is menopause. As women, we spend roughly half our lives bleeding one week each month. Why, as a society, do we not celebrate THAT ending?!
In the Mayan culture, menopausal women become spiritual leaders within their community. In Native American cultures, menopause is viewed as a positive experience, menopausal women become “women of wisdom” and are admired and sought for guidance. And my personal favorite, in the Indian Ayurvedic culture, menopause is a transition period to prioritize health and wellbeing.
So why do we dread “The Change” so much? As women, most of us are planners. We live our lives from day to day by the calendar. We make lists; mental lists, and lists on paper. We like having a plan and knowing what needs to be done and when. I don’t know about you, but for me, there is something magnificent about crossing tasks off my list that makes me feel a sense of accomplishment for the day. Heading into perimenopause and having a period that doesn’t conform to the calendar felt like my own personal nightmare. I’m not a big fan of the unknown. Thankfully, I was informed about that part. What I didn’t know was all the fun, little ways it would affect my health and wellbeing overall, and how to fix it.
Menopause symptoms can start years before menstruation finally ceases. I know, I’m just full of good news today! You may notice changes in your periods similar to the way it presents when you first got it as a teen. Some of the more notable signs are the hot flashes and night sweats.
Tough to discern since we live on the center of the sun, but when you have them you’ll know the difference! Waking up in the middle of the night drenched in a pool of sweat can be alarming, and inconvenient. Sleep disruptions, or restless sleep is another early sign. This leads to brain fog and midday fatigue. Are we celebrating yet? Mood changes similar to those throughout your cycle, may start to appear again, often times bringing their friends, anxiety and depression, along for the ride. Are we having fun yet? Buckle up ladies, it’s about to get a little spicy!
As menopause nears, physical changes occur in our bodies thanks to our hormones. We lose tone in our bladder and that can lead to urine leakage, usually when you least expect it. Start those Kegel exercises and read on! We also notice dry or sensitive skin, headaches and weight gain is a common complaint, especially around the middle where it impacts our major organs the most. Anyone feeling super sexy yet? As our hormones shift, vaginal dryness often sets in causing sex to be painful or at least uncomfortable. This is about the time that sex drive takes a nosedive. So, let’s talk about sex and the role your hormones play.
Female sex hormones include Estrogen, Progesterone, and Testosterone. Yes, you have Testosterone! These hormones are produced in ovaries and adrenal glands. Of these, the most well-known is estrogen. Most of your estrogen is produced by your ovaries but the adrenal glands and fat cells can produce estrogen in small amounts. This hormone plays a pivotal role in sexual development. Progesterone stabilizes the menstrual cycle and prepares the body for pregnancy.
Lower levels of this hormone cause irregularities in your period and can lead to difficulties conceiving and maintaining pregnancy. Testosterone is produced in lower amounts in females and is responsible for sexual desire, orgasm, and can affect tissue, bone mass and even red blood cell production.
Of all of these hormones, testosterone has the broadest range for what is considered “normal” in females. Depending on the lab, the normal range can be anywhere from two all the way up to 72. There are very few lab values with such a wide range.
There are a million different views on hormones and hormone replacement therapy. We can supplement hormones in combination or separately, in pill form, injections, creams, pellets, troches, and patches. So many options and so many opinions! How do you know if and when to supplement, or even how? We start by talking about it! You don’t have to experience all of the symptoms I’ve mentioned previously to start talking about whether or not hormone replacement therapy is the right option for you!
Your overall health and wellbeing are important to me and of that, your sexual health plays a critical role in your physical and emotional wellbeing. So, yes, we’re going to talk about it. Don’t fret, I’ve heard it all!
The physical and emotional act of sex was created for our enjoyment. The physical act is good for your health! It promotes a healthy cardiovascular system, increases circulation, exercises the lungs, and leaves the body feeling relaxed!
Did you know kissing burns 26 calories per minute? In just one minute of kissing, you can decrease anxiety and lower your heart rate. All the more reason to settle in for a good long make out session!
If you’ve typically had an active sex life and find that lately you’re just not feeling it, ask yourself why. When I talk with my patients about this element of their life, we explore whether it’s an emotional cause or a physical one. If we determine that you are still able to experience desire from the same things you used to, or that there isn’t an issue in your relationship causing you to keep your distance, we will look for the physical causes.
I know there are many generations of women that never talked about sex nor were they taught anything about it growing up, but I’m here to tell you, sex is NOT a dirty word!
At this stage of life, you should know your own body better than anyone! If you don’t, start exploring. You need to know what feels good to you and what doesn’t. You need to be able to express that verbally and physically. If you are able to be sexually aroused and are able to achieve orgasm but have no vaginal lubrication, sex won’t feel good, in fact, you may find yourself dreading it. If you have no desire for sex but want to get back to a place of desire, we can fix that! In fact, we can fix all of these symptoms. Menopause does not mark the end of your sex life.
My best advice, live the way of Ayurveda, celebrate this time as a journey of exploration with the goal of achieving optimal health and wellbeing.
Throw a party, have more sex, kiss a
lot, and celebrate the change! Your
perspective determines your outcome!
